June 30, 2015
I stumbled upon this brief piece in the Huffington Post about when patients should consider doing psychotherapy, trying medication, doing both at the same time or not doing anything at all. I liked this article because it was short and to the point while giving some nice examples behind the answer to the question: “it depends.”
As a psychologist I have many patients ask for medications and I have many patients refuse my suggestion that they consider medications. I work with only a handful of psychiatrists who I trust, and one of the things that I really like about them is that they don’t always prescribe medication on the first visit and sometimes they don’t prescribe at all. Now days many psychiatrists have defaulted to the role of “prescription mill” and they just see patients on the quarter hour, back to back, writing scripts as quickly as they can. I feel fortunate that I have good relationships with some very thoughtful and knowledgeable psychiatrists.
I also feel fortunate that as a psychologist I have the luxury of time to get to really know my patients, develop a strong therapeutic relationship with them and then help them improve various aspects of their lives. One of my favorite things to do in therapy is to review my clinical notes with a patient when we’re close to terminating treatment. I have found that when people are feeling better they often forget just how bad things were when they first came to me. When we read through the chart together they are reminded of the incredible progress they made.
June 24, 2015
Over the years of doing psychotherapy with individuals and couples I have often observed a thematic trend from patient to patient. Sometimes I get a bunch of calls about relationship problems or several existing patients will bring up similar issues in the same week or even the same day. Lately I have noticed that I am talking with a bunch of folks about forgiveness. Often the historical issue that my patient is struggling with is an “unforgivable” event but we still find ourselves discussing what forgiveness means or what it looks like. I like to think about forgiveness as being a selfish – rather than a selfless – process. Sometimes we forgive people, not for them but, for ourselves.
Think about the amount of time, energy and emotion you devote (and continue to allocate) toward maintaining resentments, being angry and keeping hatred alive. Now imagine how liberating it would be to be able to let go of that and how you might reallocate that time, energy and emotion. I’m sorry, but I don’t have any magical answers about how this process unfolds other than to say that it is just that: a process, and it begins by talking about the transgression against you. Eventually you may or may not opt to have a conversation, write a letter or engage in some sort of symbolic gesture to “interpersonally” forgive your transgressor. I recently read an interesting article in the Huffington Post about forgiveness but the most inspiring thing I’ve come across regarding the concept of forgiveness was a great story on NPR’s The Story (scroll down to the second story and if you want to listen to the show, you can skip the first third of the mp3 file).